Episode 6: Love and Priorities
Love. I was interested in the term ever since I had first heard it. It had been nearly a week since I had left the pit with Nick. It’s kind of funny, really. In one hand, I was terrified. I didn’t want to lose my life, lose everything that I had missed, and everything that was coming my way. And at the same time… I was… I don’t know… happy. I had heard the Rotundra use the word “friend”, but they were never talking to me. Nick walked several steps ahead of me and although the tunnels were dark with a foul odor… I was happy to be there. The ankle deep water and raw feet, the small bits of broken glass I pulled from between my toes wasn’t enough to deter my mood.
You must understand, there was so much running through my mind since the toxins had left my body leaving me free to explore these new possibilities. Possibilities that had never seemed relevant to humans now came rushing through my veins like the river I had never seen. It was… is there a word for it honesty? Terrifyingly beautiful.
“Where are we going?” I asked him.
He trudged on. Although I had never seen a motivated man, the one who walked ahead of me carried a responsibility larger than any of us. One I wouldn’t understand for a very long time. Sometimes late at night, I could hear him mutter a woman’s name. And even he, someone so noble, so unstoppable, would let a tear escape. One day I asked him.
“Nick… why do you cry at night?”
He stopped in his tracks and turned to face me. It made me nervous when he did this. I knew it was something I needed to know. Something that was important. “It’s just when I’m thinking, Adam. If there’s anything you ever learn from me. Perhaps if you’re alone; if something happens to me… remember this. I know you’ve had it rough. But in all honesty, there are some things in this world worse than slavery. Believe it not, there are some things worse than death…. And regardless of how much you fight. Regardless of everything you try to accomplish… these things are going to happen.” He turned and began walking the waters once more.
“Who is Melanie?” I asked softly.
He turned and with a small, half crooked smile replied, “that’s one of those things, Adam.”
“Was she your friend?”
“No…” he bowed his head slightly, “She was my love.”
“Love? I’m sorry… I don’t know what that is.”
He looked for words for a moment. “It’s… the most indescribable, beautiful thing on this planet. And if you ever find it… you’ll be the luckiest man on earth.”
“I would like that very much…”
He turned away from me. To this day I’m not sure, but I think I saw a tear that day. It wouldn’t be the last tear Capitan Nicholas Roberts cried, though.
Sometimes when I lay in bed at night, I regret asking him that question. But when you’re ignorant to the way of the world… well…you do many, many things you regret.
I decided to try again. “Nick, where are we going?
He finally answered me, “to free a few others?”
“You mean there’s more like you?”
“Not exactly…” he replied, “At this moment I believe it would be saver to say they’re more like you.”
I think I learned to smile that day.